William’s Question For Larry…

“Larry, My wife has told me that there is another man she wants to see and has feelings for but is not in love with him. It has been going on for about five months. She also says she loves me and is in love with me but not like she use to be. How do I stop the affair and make her fall back in love with me?” – William

Larry’s Answer for William…

William, when you wrote that your wife is interested in another man and saying confusing things, it tells me she may be entering a midlife crisis. This is a time in adult life when for some people (Chaos Kids), the pain of the first 10 years of childhood comes gunning for the person. It’s like a bomb explodes in her brain and all things that used to be normal become abnormal.

This may sound strange to some, but I want you to think of this like your wife is on a different planet…with an entirely different set of rules.  We’ll call this “planet chaos”.

Here on earth, when you treat people good, they treat you good in return. But on planet chaos, when you treat a person good, they deliver back PAIN in return.

There is a completely different set of rules on planet Chaos.

When you are married to a woman who has entered Planet Chaos, you will throw yourself into great painful turmoil if you keep expecting the rules on planet Earth to apply. On planet Chaos, you cannot stop an affair because an affair is a normal part of living on planet Chaos.

On that planet, there are no morals and no loyalty, so don’t expect her to have any.

You need to imagine that you are back in high school competing for the prettiest girl in school.

You’re up against other guys who are selling her very hard. She is no longer in her right mind now so she would never recognize the ridiculousness of the situation and you must play along and not call the situation ridiculous. Remember William, you are on planet Chaos now.

There’s two rules you must remember:

1. Rule number one: she wants what she does not have.

2. Rule number two: what she already has, she does not want.

Because everything about you is normal, you are what she already has. If you are going to work with the rules of planet Chaos, you must work to fulfill rule number one in every creative way you can think of.

• Physically, that means changing your hairstyle, your glasses, shoes, clothing, car, taste in food, anything that can be physically identified as different about you.
• Emotionally, you must appear calm, happy, content, wishing well to everyone and seem to be totally secure in your situation. In other words, you do not appear to need her.

Collectively physical and emotionally, changes like these fulfill rule number one of planet chaos and she begins to notice that she cannot have you and that you are different. When she pursues you be sure to appear only mildly interested.

This is where you need to put your energy now and I have given you the basic guidelines.

By the way, you may view this strategy as simply “playing games” but remember, being married to a Chaos Kid is a whole different ballgame so this “game”  is the only way to get your wife’s attention until the midlife crisis runs its course. 

Pursuing your wife to end the affair is NOT the answer. You must lure her back to you by following rule #1 and #2.

How to deal with an affair

Do NOT:

1. Encourage the affair
2. Tell your spouse you want a divorce if that is what she is pursuing. Instead, tell her you will accept the decision but you do not agree with it. With Chaos Kids, you do not want to RESIST anything…the more you resist, the more SHE will resist and the further and faster she will run from you.