Most couples are happy with each other – until they are tested.

Couples whose marriages fall apart fail this test because they could not manage their emotions after they are tested.

When you marry, you will be tested because every couple is. Sometimes the test is small like financial losses, but other times it is a very big test…like the death of a child.

I have talked with many couples who have lost children and many of them cannot properly handle the massive rush of guilt, fear, self-doubt and blame that fills them afterward, sometimes for as much as five years. They don’t know the source of these negative emotions so they cannot control them.

Instead, they are controlled BY those emotions.

The downward spiral of grief

The first thing that happens is they distance themselves from each other as if somehow their spouse was to blame. A

ll of this guilt, fear, self-doubt and blame does not simply put a vast canyon of distance between them, these bad emotions start infecting other parts of them as well.

The problem is not the death of the child itself – or any event that causes pain or conflict in the marriage for that matter.

But that is not what these horrible emotions are intending for you. They are here to destroy you in every way they can.

If you do not know how to eliminate these emotions, your life will get WORSE, not better.

When your marriage is falling apart, consider the things you might say about this person you were once so in love with.

“She’s lazy, he doesn’t help with life, she’s controlling, doesn’t support me and the list goes on.”

This description is of someone who cannot understand or manage these destructive emotions of guilt, fear, self-doubt and blame.

We’ll call him Joe. Joe doesn’t know what to do so he is controlled by these emotions that began with – in this case – the death of a child. But these ugly emotions are not being maintained by the death of the child, they are being maintained by something else that Joe does not understand and neither do you.

I’m referring to the source of all human behavior – and there is a source. No one knows what that source is and because they don’t, they are controlled by negative emotions. The only solution troubled spouses have is to run away from the person they THINK is the problem.

Your spouse is not the problem – and neither are you.

The spouse in the greatest amount of pain is attacking you as their way of suffering under these brutal emotions.

The solution is not to leave the marriage, the solution is to release yourself first from these ugly emotions, and then help your spouse be released from them too. I created an ebook that lays the foundation for eliminating negative emotions.

It’s a quick read and offers a refreshingly different perspective on viewing the good and bad things that happen around you.